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Part
I: The Calling
Chapter
2: The Claustrophobic Nun
NOTE:
Each of the nuns selected pseudonyms to reflect the Poor Clare Colettine value
for anonymity and hiddenness.
In
childhood, Monica encountered religious figures regularly; nuns taught her at Catholic
school, and when the family lived in Rome, the birthplace of the Catholic
Church, sisters dressed in the full habit were a common sight in public.
From
an early age, Monica wanted a family of her own. She planned to get married and
have eight children. “It was a beautiful ideal for me to be a mother and a wife
and have a lot of children,” she says. Above all, she wanted to give her life
for others. …
Introspective
and reflective Monica took stock of all that the cloister denied—traveling,
marriage, motherhood, talking to and visiting her parents and siblings. Hugging
her loved ones at will. “It just seemed so radical to me and so drastic,” she
says, “and I didn’t know if I could do that. In my mind at the time, I’m just
working through it and I’m just saying, ‘I’m really attached to my family.’ I’m
giving all these reasons to God why this isn’t a good idea.
I’m
like, ‘Lord, you know, you know me. You know I can’t do this!’”
Monica’s
proficiency with languages offered little solace; rather, it was a lens into
yet another obstacle. The words “cloister” and “claustrophobia” derive from the
same Latin root, meaning “to close” or “to lock.” “That’s where the word
‘cloister’ comes from—being shut in,” Sister Mary Nicolette says. “That was
very ironic. I get claustrophobic in an elevator. So I’m like, ‘Lord, the
cloister? I’m going to get claustrophobic!’ That’s the word that comes to my
mind. You know being shut in and not being able to travel. I just thought, ‘How
am I going to be able to do this, Lord? You’re asking me to do something that’s
just completely contrary to my nature.’ ”
-- Provided by Abbie Reese
